i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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