Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
