All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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