No awkward lesbian experiences without me
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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