Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
