New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Randomize
