hotel room ftw
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize