Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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