My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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