on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
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Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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