I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I want to fling myself into the sun
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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