AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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