Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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