You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
