Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I cannot find my penis.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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