...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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