i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize
