sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
