i think i have two assholes
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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