I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize