Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.