I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
19 People Did The Wildest Things When They Were Black-Out Drunk
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
21 Signs That A Dude is Probably Insane
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.