And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
