I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
