Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
