this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
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That bitch ruined vodka saturday
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
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I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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