She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
