Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
