i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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