that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
