I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
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