If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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