Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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