God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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