Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
