Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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