Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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