absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize