so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
