Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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