Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
i drank out of a bidet.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
