I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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