Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
found the other keg... it's in the tree
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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