I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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