Nicole vs. Life
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
These tits shall not be calmed