so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love