My nipple is on Facebook.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
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I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.