I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The Olympian is in my bed