after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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