It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
