worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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