a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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