I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
OPIZZABONMYDICK
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Text me some of your sweat
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
