Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
