get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
