would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
