The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
