I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
