How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
