You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize