either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
